Chapter 5: Polarization


  • We can divide up all of the women you’re attracted to into three categories: Receptive,
    Neutral and Unreceptive. 
  • Let’s start with Unreceptive. Women who are Unreceptive are just that: they’re
    unavailable and/ or uninterested in having a sexual/romantic relationship with you. 
  • The goal with Unreceptive women is to identify them and move on as quickly as
    possible. They’re time-sinks. Typically, if women are unreceptive, they’re unreceptive
    for a good reason, and there’s little you’re going to do to change that. And in fact, in
    almost every case, if you do stick around and try to change her mind about her
    availability, you’re simply going to demonstrate much more neediness and investment
    in her, and therefore become less attractive and she’ll become even LESS available to
  • The most common reasons that put women in this category are the following:
    • You’re far needier than she is, and she’s therefore not attracted.
    • She has a boyfriend/husband and is happy in her relationship.
    • There’s too much friction preventing her from being willing to date you.
  • She’s simply not interested or looking for any guy at the moment.
  • The way to tell if a woman is Unreceptive is if she does not reciprocate your signs of
    interest and shows signs of disinterest
  • The next category is Neutral. Women in this category are usually women who you’ve
    just met or have only spent time with a couple times. The important thing to know is
    that women do not ever STAY in this category. They eventually polarize one way or the
    other. And if you never make an advance or show interest in them, then they will
    ALWAYS polarize towards being Unreceptive. This is the Friend Zone. 
  • The goal with Neutral women is to polarize them through your behavior. This may mean
    being more aggressive. It may mean flirting with them or teasing them. It may mean
    asking her to dance or asking her on a date. Whatever it is, the goal with Neutral women is to take an action that forces her to move toward one side of the spectrum or the
    other. Which side she goes to is less important than actually taking action and forcing
    her to no longer be neutral. And remember, showing your desire arouses women.
    Showing neediness turns them off.
  • And the final category, Receptive. Women who are Receptive are obviously already
    sexually attracted to you. You can recognize women who are Receptive in two ways:
    they initiate with you and/or they reciprocate willingly. Most women, especially hot
    women, even if they’re attracted to you, won’t initiate with you. Remember, women
    tend to be less invested in sex, and they expect men to initiate in the beginning. A
    woman who is reciprocating will do something to respond positively to your advance.
    Think of it as her signaling to you that she accepts your advances on her and likes it. If
    you touched a woman on the back and she wanted to reciprocate, she would either lean
    back into you, lean in closer to you, or touch you in return.
  • The Friend Zone typically occurs when a man meets a Receptive or Neutral woman but
    never makes a move. As mentioned earlier, women never stay Neutral and will
    eventually be polarized into the Receptive or Unreceptive categories. If you don’t act,
    they will slowly drift into the Unreceptive category
  • You must to indicate some sort of sexual interest early on. Otherwise, the longer you
    wait, the harder it gets and the more likely she will be Unreceptive to you. Again, ask
    yourself what waiting four years to state your interest in a girl sub-communicates to her.
    It sub-communicates, “I am so highly invested in you that I spent four years working up
    the nerve to show you my interest.” It’s extremely unattractive. And chances are, she’s
    known you’ve been interested the whole time but too afraid to show it, which in turn,
    makes you even further unattractive. 
  • Polarization is what occurs when you express your truth and make yourself vulnerable.
    When you tell a woman she is beautiful, you are polarizing her. When you tease her
    about her earrings and put your arm around her, you’re polarizing her. When you wear
    a custom made suit out to a night club you are polarizing women. When you tell a
    woman who’s late to a date to never be late again, you are polarizing her. A man who is
    highly invested and needy is going to alter his behaviors based on the woman he’s
    talking to. He’s going to be afraid to tell her that he doesn’t accept her being late. He’s
    going to be afraid to wear that suit out. He’s going to be timid when he wants to put his
    arm around her. He’s going to be unable to make himself vulnerable, express his truth,
    and will therefore not polarize her.
  • You’d be surprised how many women will respond with attraction to nothing other than
    a man who is bold and willing to make a move. A lot of women will react very warmly to
    these advances. Remember women are turned on by men who desire them. They are
    also turned on by the behavior of high status. When you’re expressing your truth and showing shameless desire for her, you are demonstrating both of these qualities that turn her on.