The Hierarchy of Game:
Physique → Inner Game → Outer Game → Presentation of the Self
- An improved physique always leads to an improved inner game, outer game, and presentation of the self.
- An improved inner game always leads to an improved outer game and presentation of the self.
- An improved outer game always leads to an improved presentation of the self.
It all comes down to becoming a genuinely non-needy, honest and confident man — not learning tricks or lines. Below are the things I suggest you work on before and while attempting to meet women, if that's what you want.
The Five Pillars
Health
- Fitness
- Healthy food
- Hygiene
- Style
- Living space
Wealth
- Financial control
- Job / career
- Education
- A future plan
Relationships
- In touch with family
- A gregarious person
- Good friends
- Game
- Social habits
Self-Love
- Self-development
- Self-acceptance
- Reading & learning
- Meditation
- Projects & creating
- Journaling
- Hobbies & skills
- Travel & walks
Higher Purpose
- Bigger than yourself
- A passion
- A dream
- A goal
- Doing what you love
Getting Started
- Start working out — especially lifting weights. It's good for testosterone, the foundation of being a man.
- Fix your style after you reach a healthy weight (so you don't have to rebuy clothes once you lose weight). Make your interests and lifestyle part of your style — not a frat boy in a Hugo Boss suit.
- Find a mission. If you died in the next year, how would you want to be remembered? A great writer? An activist? A musician? Find something you're genuinely passionate about and contribute it to the world.
- Build your frame. Frame is simply your idea of yourself. Are you confident, fun, witty, intellectual? Develop traits like stoicism, an abundance mentality and high self-value. Steps 1–3 feed into your frame — keep it clean and weed out anything bitter or needy.
- Lead the relationship. Be strong physically, mentally and emotionally (be stoic), and don't supplicate.
A person who budgets their money will be successful with money.
A person who budgets their calories will be at a healthy weight.
A person who budgets their time will be efficient.
What are you budgeting? Write down what you want — then go get it.
You have to get to a place where you're comfortable being uncomfortable. That's where growth lives.
For the alphas in progress
This takes time. If you've been at it six months and nothing's happened yet, it's because you're still unlearning old habits.
- Maybe you're not lifting yet — but you've cut down the drinking and the video games. (Swap gaming for Duolingo and learn a language for free.)
- You're not making gains yet, but you're mitigating vices.
- You'll have cheat days and relapse days. Don't sweat it — success is not linear.
- You have to deprogram before you can reprogram.
- Don't give up on yourself. Keep reading, keep taking baby steps.
If there's one thing I'd recommend first: get 7–8 hours of sleep a night, get a lifting program going, and eat as well as your budget allows. The energy and focus from lifting kick-starts everything else. No gym or no budget? Get a weight set and train at home. There's no excuse to stay in the chair. Keep on keeping on, gentlemen.
Women start at the top of a hill with nowhere to go but down. Men start at the bottom of a mountain — and the only limit is how high they climb.